What’s Left?

The Left is famous for conducting research into social maladies, a “medical research of the social body”, if you will. All over, the body is ravaged by wounds. The Left thinks the problem is a disease called c-p-t-lism, which, like cancer, spreads throughout the body, in the end killing it. The Left conducts ongoing tests on how to eradicate this disease and experiments with a variety of operational procedures.

The Right, on the other hand, denies that the wounds are caused by c-p-t-ism at all; the problems are largely psychosomatic in origin. They worsen when picked at or itched, and are best treated through painkillers and techniques of distraction.

A new approach, however, suggests that these social maladies are actually surface wounds, rather like eczema, caused by a combination of a certain genetic predisposition, environmental factors and malnutrition.

This is good news because it means that rather than the dangerous and evasive surgery so far attempted, which has often lead to an overall worsening of the maladies – not to speak of the unsatisfactory psychosomatic treatments which have lead to mental health side-effects – relatively painless experiments can be carried out as to how to alleviate these terrible maladies and restore the skin to its natural beauty and to its natural ageing process.

For now, both Left and Right have much vested in holding to their original hypotheses. More research is required to establish new forms of practice based on the newer approach.

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